The Constant Dilemma





Dear Working Mothers & Wives,

How many times have you faced the dilemma of completing an urgent report on time vs feeding your child till her tummy is full? What to choose - a quality time with my child vs office parties?

Now, my question is why cannot we have everything? Why can't I have it all? As a person I want to excel in my career, maintain good rapport with my work colleagues at the same time I want to witness and be there at every growing stage of my child. Why is the situation either or and not and?

Again, another question that pops up is why don't the fathers face this dilemma? The answer is simple- they have already chosen their 100% dedication towards their work life as they feel by default it is the mother who would be the primary caregiver for the child who has been created by both. And, fathers are not to be blamed. You know why?

Because just like our society has labelled mothers to be the primary caregiver for the child, it has also labelled fathers as the main financial source for the family.

The irony is while fathers are ok with the situation and do not mind being excused from the child care, mothers are not at all ok with the situation. As a clan, we consider ourselves to be more capable and more powerful than men. Hence, we want to create - lives as well as reports.

We are naturally attached to the ones whom we have carried inside us for 9 months- our body parts, our children. Interestingly, this affinition is quite similar to men's attachment towards their house they had built/ bought. Have you seen cases where fathers are not willing to leave their home for the sake of their child, just because they do not want to stay apart from the home they had built?

This emotional attachment of men towards their property is similar to women gaining pleasure from shopping. Women are more materialistic - as the saying goes. But the truth is we see voice of love in terms of gifts. The reason being - men have nothing else to offer apart from the money that they spend, while women offers personal touches as their voice of love. Have you seen on special occasions, let say like 'anniversaries' men gifting things like dress/purse/scent while their women are cooking special food for their men? The barriers start here actually. 

I am not saying do not receive gifts. I am saying the way we look at things are different than what the men see.

Now coming back to the dilemma that we face in our every work day. Do you have any answer to that? Let me know how you manage to have it all. I will tell my side of the story in my next blog.

Stay tuned.

With love,


Twisa



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