Mentally ILL


Dear Readers,


Did the title shock you? Isnt it the most common word that you get to hear if you are living in West Bengal? Good bad or ugly, in happiness or out of frustration you will hear - "Pagol naki?!"(Which means - Are you mad?)

While they might not be asking about your mental health literally but yes they would suspect somthing is not working properly in your brain.

Bengalis have always been focussed on gaining intelligence and not wealth. No wonder why we have produced so many scientists, literary veterans and not so many businessmen!

Anyways, coming back to the topic of mental health we see so many cases of frustrations, anger, depression ( several kinds of depression including post partum depression). The starting point of these cases would be lack of clear goal in life and the ending point would be feeling bad about the kind of behaviour that you get from others. I will state few examples for better clarity.


Example 1:


I dont know how to use my free time as I think I have achieved everything in life, so I do not like to spend time on improvising my knowledge level or my skill set or my financials or my health, rather it is easier for me to indulge myself in small talks with few people of my network about how bad all people are, how imperfect other people are and how perfect am I.

Result - I end up feeling sad for what people have said about or done to me. Not only this, I also end up losing contact with few of those people. My circle gets reduced for absolute no reason.


Example 2:


I feel I am the victim. I feel everybody is using me or taking advantage of me. I do good to all people and in return I get nothing. 

Result - I end up spending entire time on how people behave with me.I forget the most important person in this process which is me, myself. I want to improve in life and excel, but since I am more focussed on how people shouldnt have behaved with me, I neither get time nor I have enough energy left to think about my life which actually includes only me and nobody else.


Example 3:


The most common one which we all mothers go through - cycle of guilt and anger. Anger because of the fact that all our time and energy goes into wellbeing of our child, we do not get enough time for ourselves. Guilt - because by chance if we are not being able to give 100% care to our child because of circumstances we end up feeling guilty thinking and questioning - "Am I a good mother? How could I not do this?"

Result - We end up feeling stressed, frustated of the entire situation of motherhood and again get into the cycle of guilt-anger-guilt-never ending one.


Example 4:


Something has happened to me because of which I felt bad, now I do not know how to put full stop to that feel bad situation. I keep on dragging the negative emotion inside me just because there was no proper closure to the case, just because the ending was not according to my expectation.

Result- I want to get out of the feel bad situation, I want to move on in life but I do not see a way out, hence I continue to feel bad and not do anything else in life - time waste in absolute terms.



How many of you can relate to these cases? Which example you like the most? Which one you belong to?


Waiting for your replies!


Till then my solution:


Set a concrete goal in life - it can be as simple as gardening or baking a cake or reading a book. 

In which ever stage in life we are, it is never too late to set goals. I myself had set several goals in life which ranged from serious stuffs like religion ( yes, I did actually read several religious books like Gita, Upanishad, Bible!) to less serious stuffs like learning how to sew, applying home made face pack. I belive there's no end to self improvement and self grooming, just like there's no end in gaining knowledge.

Personally, I started with trying to understand myself - what gives me happiness, what's "the" thing I want to do in life. And I found out my happiness lies in socializing, connecting with people. 

I also found out I like to spend, I like to shop - specially online shopping is destress for me. But for that what I would be needing the most - is to put a control button to my finances. Hence, I started gaining knowledge on how to manage funds. This again took lot of my time.

In the end, I kept on spending more and more time on concrete things which actually led to my self growth. 

Honestly, I believe in SRK's words - "Be selflessly selfish" - which means I do not think about people - neither good nor bad, I actually do not believe in giving importance to anybody in my headspace.

But yes, can't say the same when it comes to my child. Like most of the mothers, I am a hypertensed mother and do belong to Example 3 category. I have'nt got any solution for that. So if you have any solution please feel free to drop your suggestions.


Waiting for your answers!


Till then take care,

With love,

Twisa

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