Motherhood - Part 2

Dear Readers,

During pregnancy, we didnt stop going out on dates. Mental happiness of the mother is the most important for a healthy baby. We focussed on that mainly. 

We went out to movie dates mostly as eating out was limited option for me.Once we booked a 4d movie and when we reached there came to know that pregnant women are not allowed in a 4d hall. Phew!!! This is what happens when you are young and excited parents!

I remember in my 3rd trimester once we went to Pizza Hut to satiate my pizza craving, found a couple whispering at my baby bump and yes from their expression you could clearly guess that they were wondering how come I went out with that huge baby bump of mine! I felt amused. This might be because with age I have become immune to "log kya kehenge" - I have learnt to ignore what people think. This has helped me a lot in staying positive and also in my self growth and happiness.

Whenever my baby moved inside me or responded to my touch I felt happy and good that something inside me was growing. I felt a connection but the 'motherly' feel was not there to be honest. It was more about feeling protective towards the life that was growing inside me.

Two of the incidences worth mentioning here; once in my 3rd month I suddenly stopped feeling baby's movement. I was scared to death. In my life before I never ever had chanted 

mantra so many times except for my exams. Finally I felt relieved when the doctor checked the heartbeat and told me not to panick as I was not supposed to experience baby movement so early.

Another incidence happened in my 7th month while I was attending office. Suddenly felt wet. I got up from my seat and found my seat was wet.  I immediately rushed to doctor's chamber thinking my water broke. Before that I was listening to all sorts of premature delivery instances. I was wondering how come my water broke when I am consuming more than enough water! After checkup found I was having infection, which was as a result of public toilet usage ("Few things you cannot avoid" - as said by my doctor). That infection went away after 3 days of medication, but "Pee Buddy" and "Pee Safe" became my constant partners.

As my delivery time was coming near I was going through all ranges of emotions. Firstly, I was worried about how will I pass through the operation as I am scared of injection, the thought that my body would be cut was very scary one for me. 

Then I started thinking about the prep phase as in what things to be bought beforehand for the baby. I consulted few new moms (some were my classmates and one was my sis in law). I came to know that keeping a hospital bag handy is good for sudden water break.

But I didnt have had to keep the hospital bag handy as in the last moment I had to go for c section and not normal delivery as per doctor's suggestion. Hence there were no water break, no surprises for me.

It was a Sunday when I was admitted to the hospital. I was working in the morning. Post that I cleaned dishes. 

The night before that my husband had given me "Saad". He had prepared my favourite luchi and chicken. I was feeling very energetic while going to the hospital.

But after admission as they said dinner would be my last food before operation I lost my appetite. This is because stomach needs to be empty before operation. As innumerable tests (which are very normal before c section) begun, I started getting butterflies in my stomach. Forget about watching tv, I couldnt sleep properly that night.

Next day early in the morning I was taken to OT (operation theatre). As I entered there on a wheelchair I found the OT looks like the one in any sci fi movie with lots of machine all around. In the center of the hall there was a bed with a focussed light on it - looked like a stage. That was my bed. Seeing that for a fraction of a second I thought to run away, as it looked like the death bed for me. But running away was not an option with such heavy belly.

Hence I decided to go with the flow.

My doctor was explaining me that there are 3 teams - her team (who will do the operation), paediatric team to whom the baby would be handed over to post operation, and team from Cord Life - who will collect the stem cell (Remember we had signed up for this one in my pregnancy days!).

The operation began. An injection was pushed in my spinal cord which was painless. They also applied something on my stomach, a liquid - after which I couldnt feel my stomach.

Then they hung a thick cloth in front of my eyes so that I donot get to see what were they doing with my stomach.

After 15minutes felt gush of liquid came out of my stomach and sound of a crying baby. Few moments later I saw her, uhu not her face but her genitalia. The nurse held her lower part in front of my eyes and said its a baby girl. I scolded her - Can I see her face!

Later, doctor told me that previous days people in the hope of producing a son would conceive for 3 or more instances and after delivery their main concern would be the child's gender, sometimes they would say we had produced a son, how come you are showing a girl. For this reason nurses show the genitalia first. What a world!! 

Anyways, post my operation I was kept in the observation room (a part of OT). I was lying there and begging for more sedatives as the pain was unbearable. Nurse told me maximum medications have been done, I have to bear this pain, cant help. As I was screaming I heard a baby crying at the top of her voice and the baby was kept right next to my bed in an incubator. Instinctively I knew it was my daughter, I tried to pacify her - tried to reach out to her by stretching my hand but couldnt reach out because I had saline on one hand and I was strapped in catheter along with adult diaper. Never in my life I felt so much helpless. 

Immediately the nurse came with the formula milk which she was preparing for the baby. The milk acted like magic and the baby was fast asleep.

It's important to mention here that post delivery mother's first milk should be given to the baby. But this doesnt mean you starve the baby once it comes out. A mother needs at least few hours to come to her senses post operation. During that time formula milk is given. No matter how much your family creates drama out of this, please do not listen to them and donot starve your baby. Baby will get your first milk once you come to your senses. Till that follow doctor's advice.

I was shifted from observation room to my bed. And that was very painful as 4 people held my four limbs and literally lifted me. I screamed at the top of my voice out of pain. And then they kept my daughter with me in that same bed. My pain vanished like magic, actually I forgot my pain.

It was a moment of awe for me. I found a mini human sleeping peacefully. I couldnt look away and was staring at her as they were carrying us to my room. I didnt even notice that my husband was waiting outside the ot, he hoped for a glance may be. But I kept looking at my baby. I was in awe of my creation, oops our creation! The nurse said - Are itna vi maat deko beti ko, najar laag jaega!

I had gone inside the OT with thoughts of "me,  myself" and I came out with thought of "my daughter, my baby". While I was going back to my room in the hospital from OT I knew what is 'motherly' feel, as deep inside I realised I have become Mother.

With Love,

Twisa, Siddhi's Maa :)

P.S- Before going to hospital for delivery, I cut my nails as I didnt want to hurt my child.

Babies do not require much except diapers, wet tissue and diaper changing mat and of course clothes. Hence if you can keep these handy, it's more than enough. Also do not forget to buy the mosquito net as mosquito repellants (special non electric coils) are not good for babies.