Liberating...

Dear Readers,

It's been a while since I wrote a blog! Thank you for pinging me and actually reminding me to write again. 

So many things are going on currently in my life - one of which is that I am penning down my next book! Yes!! I have finally started writing another book!!! 

Generally, I shut myself down from everything else to write. Book writing is a journey in itself; it teaches me, helps me evolve, and it definitely brings emotional changes! 

During this journey of personal evolution, I realized something. Often, we hear about or see people around us, or we ourselves often feel the need to be loved, to be noticed, to be valued, or to be an important part of someone else's life. What if we stop feeling that and instead feel we are enough for ourselves? 

Was the theory too difficult to grasp?! 

Let me simplify with my personal experience. 

I used to wonder from my childhood days why I wasn't a boy, and then my parents might not have opted for a second child! I used to wait for when my parents would give me the kind of love and affection they shower on my brother and make me an integral part of their core group. 

With my parents getting old now and me aging gracefully, I no longer feel the need to belong to any core group. Instead of craving for their love or affection, now I feel the need to give them love, shower them with things which they have sacrificed all these years for me, my education (which has really been very expensive for a middle-class family to afford my MBA degree with a single bread earner in the family of two kids). I no longer want my parents or anyone to notice or value or give me any kind of validation.

Also, everyone has their own way to love. The love people show you comes from their own experience, belief, condition of life. So you trying to match your expectation of love from others would be too taxing for those who love you.

Last day, my daughter was being cranky and telling me - "You don't love me, Mumum" (like we all tell our parents even after they do tons of things for us, right!). 

Instead of giving her verbal assurance that I love her, I told her - "Why do you want me to love you?! Why can't you love yourself?"

- "How to love myself, Mumum?" 

- "You find out what makes you happy! And it cannot and should not depend on anybody else. You should not wait for someone to love you. You should be loving yourself first and the most." 

After that, I told her to do things that she likes as a toddler. I'm not quoting those things here as those are definitely not relevant for you, my readers. 

What is relevant is that the moment I realized that I no longer need to be loved - the thought itself is so liberating and so powerful that it actually reflects in my day-to-day action and work. 

I don't know if all 35+ year-olds feel the same way or if it's just me feeling this way from my motherhood experience. You tell me! 

Or, have you ever tried to liberate yourself from the need to be loved? If not, try once and let me know how it feels to be the emotional powerhouse instead of you searching for another powerhouse!

With love,

Twisa