Motherhood - Part 1



Dear Readers,

"Motherhood is a different ballgame altogether!"

Whenever my mother watsapps me or calls me, she asks - Did you eat?
Probably this is the universal question of all mothers. And like all other children I get irritated by this question. I used to wonder all these years why is she after my food intake.
Another equally irritating behaviour of her is hypertension. Now that I stay miles apart from her, phone and wats app are the medium of contact. If I do not answer her calls or if the last seen of my wats app is several hours ago she starts panicking. I wonder why is she like this when it comes to me. Because otherwise she is a very cool headed person.
Ironically today I am equally uncool, hypertensed, all time freaking out mother just like my own Mom who's only motive in life is to feed her daughter properly and who always finds her daughter to be thin each time she sees her! Lol!
I am aware that I have this problem but I dont wanna solve it. Strange?! Isnt it?
Even I wonder how it happened! In my pre mom phase if you would have told me that you should not cut your nails on a particular day of the week because that might cause harm to you I would have laughed at you and might have given you lecture on superstition. But now if you tell me that cutting nails on a particular weekday is harmful for my daughter then I will diligently follow this till the end of my life. In fact I do follow this. I do not cut nails on her birth day of the week which is Monday. Very uncool?! Isnt it? But I can't help.
Now I know how the superstition has passed down through generations. People follow them not because they do not want to use their brain but because they want absolute good for their children. Blind love is the cause of blind faith.

Hopefully, you will get the answer to cause of my transformation from cool chick to uncool freaking out mom by the end of this complete letter!

But first let me rewind to my pregnancy days.

Pregnancy days were all about cheat days. I ate like a monster - variety and quantity - both were plenty. 
The days also went by struggling to balance between fashion and my ever growing belly. My constant effort was to look good appearance wise with my baby bump. Also, I started worrying about how to prepare myself for my child.
Since, I was the first one to get pregnant in my friend circle, the excitement of my friends was very high. But our knowledge about baby was limited to jazzy baby shower party ideas, babymoon and pre natal photoshoot ideas.
One of my friends suggested me to start with world map as I am poor in geography. Just in case my baby asks about places I should be ready with that. Another equally clueless friend told me that since breast feeding is the most important, I should be practicing with a teddy bear.
Though I laughed heartily at these words, deep inside me there was a fear - how to be mother like my own Mom. I have always seen her to be super confident about worldly matters and she has answers to all my problems.
My husband said, " Dont worry. Just follow your heart and dont take tension about all these."
I switched from deo to perfume (deo contains alcohol), stopped waxing (skin becomes sensitive during pregnancy, hurting skin might trickle down to baby) and stopped applying nailpolish altogether ( didnt want nailpolish to go inside my body while eating food with hand).
I started reading good books and watched good movies. Also, I started exploring my religious aspect a bit. I started reading Gita, Upanishad to understand God. I ended up with a calm mind. 
Relax! Won't bore you with my religious belief here. But would definitely like to share a belief of mine - God and religion is very personal, my idea of connecting with Almighty might be different from yours even though we may belong to same religion; this is the reason why I would never impose my religious belief on my daughter, rather I would explain her my understanding.
Enough for now. In my next part I would tell you about my delivery and my life as a Mother.

Till then, bye!

Love,
Twisa

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